Bullying – We Are All Responsible

We have all heard the stories on the news about the level of bullying that is happening within our schools and sadly the extreme’s that some children have felt were necessary in order to escape from relentless, bullying.  Sadly the stories we have heard and the tragic outcomes, seem to be far more common and far reaching than we even know.

In the last 24 hours this reality has hit very close to home, and sadly my beautiful 9 year old boy has become once again a target for one such bully.  Now this is not the first time that my sweet bright boy has been made to feel less than by another child.  No, no this was a major issue for us a few years ago in grade one when his tormentor and he were in the same class.  Then we had two years where the bullying was less extreme although it never completely went away.  Here we are in grade four and it is now right in our faces again, as sadly my son is once again in the same class as his bully.

We are not alone.  Many families are sitting in the midst of the same types of situations as ours, to varying degrees.  This week in my part of the world was Bully Prevention Week, yet I have heard very little about it via the school.

Instead yesterday, my child arrived home and I could see that he was bothered by something and needed to talk.  So on the day of my first parent / teacher interview of the year, my dear boy, tells me on the verge of tears that he is being bullied at school.  I asked by who and was not surprised by the answer I received.  You see, we have had many experiences with this child, as have many of my son’s peers.  What I find most disturbing about my son’s experience is that it happened in the classroom, while his teacher was there.  My son was reduced to tears in the class, when another child walked right up to him at his desk and started calling him names such as stupid and dumb.  Nothing was done to reprimand the child calling names although the teacher was there and heard everything as it happened.  Instead, said child was sent back to his desk while mine was left sitting at his desk crying.  Then later on the schoolyard this same bully came up to my son and told him that “ I am going to BEAT you up no Monday”.  I mean seriously these are 9 year olds!!  What the heck is going on in the homes of these children?

My son’s teacher told me last night that she would be talking to the bullies parents about this.  Sadly, she never satisfied me with respect to what was done in the moment.  Apparently it was swept under the rug.  Well I am exposing this nonsense right now, not just for my son, but for all the children of the world who have had to experience such treatment.  So how do we combat and deal with these issues that are erupting all around us?  What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Well like my mother said to me, “Lisa you are a woman of action, and you boy is lucky to have you”.  I would like to think that not only am I being guided to take a stand and advocate for my child, but for yours too.  If we continue to turn a blind eye and only get involve when it is our child, how can we expect anything to change.  This nonsense must STOP NOW and for that we all have a part to play.

Now to be truthful, I totally empathize with the plight of teachers these days.  Classrooms are oversized, I mean my son’s class has 27 students in it, at least 4 or 5 with behaviour issues, as I have been told.  So here we have one teacher and 27 students in classrooms, where there are a number of students who require continual reminders about how to behave.  Reminders about RESPECT!!!  That is ridiculous and again I ask what the heck is going on in these homes?

The way I see it is we can all do our part by speaking openly and honestly with our children about the impact and far reaching effects their words and actions have on others.  We can teach our children that regardless, of anything, including those labels we give others, that merely serve to separate us, we are truly all the same.  There should be no separation…have we not evolved at all?  We cannot move forward with this mentality.  We are all responsible to do our part in making sure that not another child is left to suffer in silence.  Not another child feels so alone and hopeless that they do something that will forever change their life and the lives of those that love them.

We must NOW begin taking baby steps toward understanding and compassion for all.  No child should be left behind.  No child’s cries for help should go unnoticed or unanswered.  It is up to us to all do our part to educate our own children about what is acceptable treatment of another human being.  It is our responsibility to make sure our child know’s regardless, of social or economic status, we are all on equal and level playing field as human beings.  We all deserve kindness, compassion and RESPECT.  No one and particularly not our children should feel like they are not good enough, not smart enough, not rich enough.

WE ARE ALL EQUAL.

The teaching of this needs to begin with our children.  Much of this bullying happens while our children are away from us and sadly sometimes right under our nose while they surf the net.  Cyberbullying brings this cruel act to a whole new level.  So again I ask what is happening in our homes?

I understand everyone has their own unique circumstance and situations that they are dealing with, yet I do not understand how we can get so busy and caught up in stuff, that we neglect our children and their needs.  With the current state of our educational systems it is clear that we cannot, nor should we leave this responsibility entirely up to the teachers and school boards.  No we must as parents and citizens of the world, take a stand for the things in life that are truly important.  It is not about how much money you have in the bank, or how little.  It is not about the size of the home you live in or the type of car you drive.  It is not about the clothes you wear or where you work.

NO it is about any of that.

It is about the way in which we are all connected. It is about our beautiful and precious hearts.  It is about helping our children to have good self esteem, self confidence, and a belief in themselves and their gifts and abilities.  It is about being a good role model of what is appropriate and acceptable behavior and treatment of others.

We should teach our children not to judge a book by a cover.

Instead we should teach our children about all that we have in common with others.  We are more alike than some would like to admit.  We are far more similar than we are different.  Yet so many still fail to see this.

So what can we do to support this process?  Well that is a question, I have asked myself many time over the last 24 hours.  Get involved, use your voice, stand up for injustice and inequality, of any sort.  Speak the truth of your heart and do it in a way so that you are supporting and encouraging forward movement from a place of love.  Don’t turn a blind eye to what you see.  Encourage your children to speak up for those who may not yet have found their voice, or have lost it.  Violence in any way is not acceptable…words or actions.  We are all truly made up of the same stuff and as such we are all deserving of love, respect, kindness and  compassion.

Any and all change within the world, begins within us.

Let’s be a part of the solution, instead of simply perpetuating the problem.  Lets not pass our responsibility off on educators.  NO we cannot do that, they instead need our support and active involvement in the lives of our children.  NO child should feel like the only solution is suicide.  I mean goodness gracious there was a local 12 year old who just over one year ago put a plastic bag over his head on the eve of the first day of school and killed himself, just so as not to have to face his tormentors.  WHAT THE HECK?

This has to stop and we must take action quickly to see that there is not another child who feel such measures are necessary.  Not my child and not yours.

When we see bullying we must stand up for what we believe to be the basic right of every human being on the planet….bullies included…RESPECT, KINDNESS and COMPASSION.  Now don’t get me wrong, that does not mean we or our child will necessarily like everyone we meet, we most certainly won’t.  We can though, treat all those we meet as we would like to be treated.  These teaching begin when we are children and in our homes. These teaching, are carried with us throughout our lives.

Lets begin teaching these great lessons now….WE ARE ALL ONE, and there is much more about us that is the same, than any perceived differences.  It begins with us, and it begins right now!!

For the love of our children, lets take a stand!!!  We all have a part and we are all responsible for doing ours. You can be sure that I am going to do all that I can not only for my dear son, but for all the children just like him that have been on the receiving end of someone else’s fear and darkness.  My light is going to burn even more brightly now because I want nothing more than to stand in the glow of my beautiful boy’s brilliant and most radiant light.

We will get through this and most certainly rise above, with love and peace in our hearts.  We know that we are all one and we will continue to be lead via our beautiful hearts and I hope others our inspired to all their to also lead the way.  We must be the change that we wish to see in the world and we all have a part to play, big or small, everything we do matters.

With Divine Love and Gratitude to you all, Lisa xo