Too many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work. Often times these relationships just weren’t meant to be. Yet, we persisted based on a belief within us that we need to try harder, sacrifice more because if we did something would be different, something would change. Many times this simply wasn’t the case. The trouble you see was not that there was something wrong with us, just that the relationship we were working so hard to have, wasn’t the right one. Each individual within a relationship must be ready and available to participant in said relationship.
Regardless, of anything else if we do not completely love and accept ourselves, there is no way that we will be able to love and accept another, nor will we be able to receive love. We won’t recognize it if we don’t possess it. Being the one to do all the work in a relationship is going to leave you with feelings of inadequacy and want. Doing all kinds of work to make a relationship work, is truly a self-defeating and often times self deprecating. We end up feeling victimized, worn out, resentful and we may become angry and needy at the same time. At these times it is important to do some inner work and quiet contemplation. Trusting that if said relationship is meant to be….it will be.
With a willingness to do our own work (yes we all have work to do), we can begin to let go of our need to control situations which are truly out of our control. We cannot control or change other people, as much as we might like to, this is just not possible. Nobody benefits when we try to control or force anything, especially relationships with others. We are always the one who suffers the most. In these cases the best thing we can do for ourselves and others is to turn our focus and energy inward, and focus on that which we can change, ourselves and our relationship to our I AM / GOD presence within. Through this practice we begin to see that the most important ingredient for a successful relationship with another, is our own relationship to self and the God within. Any and all change in our lives always begins with the journey within.
We cannot enter relationships hoping that the other fills our holes and makes us complete. This is nonsense and truly the stuff of the movies. No one completes another, no one can love us back to wholeness. No dear friends that is a journey we must take alone with the God within. Only from a place of complete and total understanding of our own DIVINITY, can we successfully merge with another. From that place we can begin to co-create with another knowing that we are complete and whole, on our own, as we are. When we love and accept ourselves as we are, we then love and accept others the same way. It is only from this place that we can hope to have healthy and mutually beneficial relationships.
If time spent in a relationship is time spent trying to change another, instead of loving and accepting them as they are, then I would suggest you spend more time with the God within and work on loving and accepting yourself first. Relationships with other people are not meant to complete you. Oh no dear ones, they are simply meant to complement your beautiful light and the divinity within.
With Divine Love and Gratitude, Lisa xo
Image sourced from Google
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